Category: humor

Monkey Business

Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort.

The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and again they ere ever harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching.

The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so sparse that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one. The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.

While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. ‘Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.’ The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man or his assistant again and once again, there were monkeys everywhere. Now you know how the stock market works.

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Airplane Luggage

Things are crazy in the airline industry with the high and rising cost of fuel. One way is to recoup costs through luggage surcharges and strict enforcement. Derrie-Airlines (below) was a pioneer (though fake) concept. Northwest Airlines now has the following policies, and I imagine other airlines are following suit.

Carry-on Luggage

(reference page)

  • Carry-on bag – 9″ x 14″ x 22″ – my Forecast rolling soft-side bag is exactly these dimensions
  • Purse (personal item) – 15″ x 11 ” 6″ – Tumi T3 backpack fits this to a T (and holds my 15.4″ 5lb Dell 1505)
  • The following (among other things) do not count against the carry-on limits: overcoat or wrap, camera and/or pair of binoculars, umbrella, reasonable amount of reading material for the flight. Hmmm, reasonable?

Suitable Luggage

Check-in Luggage

(reference page)

  • As of right now, only 1 check-in luggage item is allowed, by the end of the summer there will be a $15 fee for even that one luggage item.
  • Maximum of 50 pounds and 62 linear inches (all three dimensions added together) – thankfully my trusty 14 year old hard case Carlton is 26″ x 22″ x 10″ = 58 linear.
  • Note that if you have a club membership then two items of luggage are ok, and if in first class, three items (and higher weight limit per item), otherwise it is $100 per item each way, wtf?!

Next?



Derrie-Airlines, originally uploaded by jeffmcneill.